I'll Never Tell

I’m not supposed to write about this. Strict orders from the spousal unit. But you KNOW I’m going to. By now you should know I’m a trouble maker.

So promise you won’t tell a soul. I’d hate to kill anyone with my super powers.

We found native Indian relics (pot shards, etc) on our property where we are building our home. Quite of lot of them. In Arizona that could mean stopping the process of building our home and dealing with graduate anthropology students from Yale pitching damn tents all over the place, smoking sage joints, and dragging out their drums for crazy ass ceremonies honoring the dead Indians. Right on the spot where my Thermador is going!!! I’m as National Geographic as the next person, but, hell-to-the-NO to a dig on our property….I’m building my kitchen!

(I will never tell where our property is...but it's somewhere on that map...go ahead, send me to Gitmo and those weak sister water boards. I'll never talk.)


And just so you know that I am culturally sensitive (I’ve waved a few sage sticks around in my time) - we DID check around covertly about what to do about it, but generally we were told, “yeah, there’s a lot of the stuff all over the place out there”, and no one seemed particularly concerned or excited. The area is a deeply researched and cataloged area of the Sinagua people that migrated down from northern Arizona (Flagstaff area) and settled all over central Arizona (our land). And we ARE being super careful about anything we do find and respectful of the general idea we aren’t the first to think our property is pretty damn great. But it is pretty cool to look down and find pieces of someone’s cookery right there, lying on the ground, from some several hundred years ago. And it looks nothing like All-Clad.

I like wandering around, picking up shards and thinking about what it must have been like to cook back then. Well, first of all, evidently, you had to make your own pot. No running down to Williams Sonoma for a Le Creuset Dutch Oven, that’s for sure!!

First Native American: “I’m hungry”

Second NA: “Good grief, you just ate 3 days ago!”

First NA: “Woman! Go get me some meat!”

Second NA, sighs…picks up her spear, heads out. Stops to make a clay pot, and have a baby. Runs cross country about 8 miles to water hole, then crawls in the brush to ambush a big elk. Takes a breather and makes a pot. Throws her spear, then jumps on the elk’s back, wrestling it to the ground. Butchers 800 pound elk, making 12 pairs of shoes with the hide. Takes a break and nurses the baby. Packs the meat back to camp. Digs a fire pit to smoke the elk. Runs down to the crops planted by the creek and harvests corn, squash, and beans. Makes a couple more pots. Starts making dinner. Rattlesnake tries to bite the baby and she ties it in a knot. Makes some more pots.

First NA: “Isn’t dinner ready yet, woman?”

Second NA: “Pipe down, will you? It’s almost done!”

Second NA makes a set of 12 pottery plates (with artistic black squiggles) and fills one with smoked elk tenderloin with a juniper berry sauce and a medley of fresh corn and squash. Complemented by bean cakes, topped with fresh dandelion greens.

First NA: “Oh brother…elk again?”

I think that’s when the pots got smashed.

This recipe has nothing to do with anything I just wrote about. But it’s very good. And I took a picture of them perched on a big pot shard. I hope it was the one she used to bop her spousal unit on the head with.


Butterscotch and Salted Pine Nut Cookies
2 sticks butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 bag butterscotch chips
Handful of pine nuts
2 big pinches sea salt
1. Cream butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add eggs, beating well after each egg. Add vanilla.
2. Sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to butter mixture.
3. Stir in butterscotch chips.
4. Toast pine nuts in small skillet until barely turning brown and fragrant…toss with sea salt. Stir into cookie dough.
5. Bake for 9-10 minutes or until edges are golden brown. Cool on racks.

Why No, Officer....That's Not Salt!

Straight up, these are very good. Adapted from a recipe at epicurean.com, it’s yet another way for me to use my burgeoning collection of smoked salts. You guys know, don’t you, that I am a salt freak? It’s just a matter of time until I figure out a way to make a salt cake with salty frosting…on a bed of salt. With salt fondant.

What I REALLY wanted to make was a cookie with a Vosges Haut Chocolate “Mo’s Bacon Bar”….. alder wood smoked bacon, smoked sea salt, and milk chocolate. Imagine that. Bacon AND salt AND chocolate. Isn’t that just about the most perfect combination??? But my source was sold out. Probably sold out to me. I ate two bars the other day, about 30 seconds apart, with no stops for breathing. I’m thinking that will be an amazing cookie when I get around to it. A bacon and salt chocolate cookie – will the wonderment never end here at The Dish???

But I had my new $16.50 jar of Smoked Coconut Lime Salt from Artisan Salts.



I think these would be great after Mexican food.

I hope you try them out. Easy little suckers, and I just loved them.

Salty-Sweet Coconut Lime Cookies

Ingredients:
¾ cup shredded sweetened coconut
2 teaspoons grated lime zest
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon ground ginger
¼ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2/3 cup confectioners sugar, plus about 1/3 cup for coating cookies
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened to room temp
1 tablespoon canola oil
2 large egg yolks
1 tablespoons fresh lime juice
About 3 tablespoons smoked coconut lime salt

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line two baking sheets with silicone mats or parchment paper. Or spray with non-stick cooking spray.
2. In a food processor, process the coconut and lime zest until fine. Set aside. In small bowl, sift together the flour, ginger, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
3. In a medium bowl, beat the 2/3 cup confectioners’ sugar, the soft butter, and canola oil until very smooth. Beat in the egg yolks and lime juice. Using low speed beat in the flour mixture until it comes together. Stir in the coconut and lime zest mixture.
4. Form the dough into tablespoon-sized balls and place them 2 inches apart on the baking sheets. Slightly tap them to flatten a bit. Bake in preheated oven to 15-20 minutes, or until the bottoms are moderately browned. Let the cookies cool on the sheets for a minute or two. While cookies are warm, roll in remaining powdered sugar to coat, tapping off excess sugar. Dip the tops into salt (or sprinkle over top) and let cool completely on wire rack.

Makes about 40 cookies.






***After taste tests, I’d up the amount of lime juice, say, another tablespoon. And be sure to get the salt on there while the cookie is very warm, so it kinda melts into the cookie.

Tout Sweet!

Ok, sometimes I feel light and fluffy. And syrupy sweet! Wee! It’s almost Spring! It’s not often, so enjoy my foray into sweetness and light. I’m sure I’ll be back into the complicated culinary darkness soon enough. Something with prunes, bloody meat and a tantrum.

All I can say is that I had a bottle of blackberry brandy left over from an ill-fated bundt cake experiment, a bag of frozen blackberries (there are no nice ones in the stores here yet…and I’m not buying them from South America….my man, Al Gore and I think that’s way too much petro to get some blackberries up to Arizona, for Pete’s sake!) and some leftover ricotta. And a lemon.



These are very pretty cookies. Little jewels. And did I mention light and fluffy? The syrupy glaze is wonderful and next time I’d make double the amount and save some for waffles. Or ice cream. Ok, maybe ice cream with the cookies and syrup all over both.



Oh, btw…they are messy. I’d put them on something to catch the drips when you dip them…and they’re fragile. They behave and taste better if you let them sit overnight. These aren’t cookies you’d stack in a cookie jar. Unless you want a lemon-ricotta-blackberry glop of mess.





They’d be perfect on a lovely glass plate, artfully arranged, as a light dessert, perhaps with a glass of Port, say, um…2003 Croft. Yes, indeedy, these are dessert cookies, not lunchbox cookies. Very delicate and exquisitely colored.


Cause that’s how I roll today…all sweetness and light. Rainbows, puppies, Smurfs, and dragonflies. That’s me.

Lemon Ricotta Cookies with Blackberry Brandy Glaze

Makes about 32-36…I lost count, cause I ate a bunch of them

For Cookies:
½ cup butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
8 oz ricotta cheese
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoons freshly finely grated lemon zest
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda

For Glaze
1 cup blackberries (mine were frozen, unthawed)
1 cup granulated sugar
½ cup blackberry brandy (for non-alcoholic cooks, try some blackberrry syrup, used for flavoring coffee)

2 tablespoons butter


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease/parchment baking sheet(s)
2. Cream together sugar and butter in large bowl.
3. Beat in egg. Stir in ricotta cheese and vanilla. Add lemon zest and blend well.
4. In small bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and baking soda with a fork.
5. Add in manageable increments, the flour to the butter/sugar mixture. Mix well.
6. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto prepared baking sheet. They don’t spread much, so about 2 inches between each one.
7. Bake for 8 – 10 minutes…they don’t brown – check by tapping with finger. Should just barely give.
8. Cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes, then move to wire racks to cool completely.

While cookies are baking and cooling, make the glaze:
1. Mix blackberries, sugar, and brandy in medium sized saucepan. Bring to boil over medium heat. Reduce heat slightly and continue to cook until reduced to about 1/2 cup or a thick syrupy drip.
2. Remove from heat and strain into shallow bowl. Add the butter while mixture is still warm and stir to incorporate.
3. Turn cooled cookie upside down and dip into glaze. Turn right side up and place on something to catch the drips (foil, etc.). Let “set up” for several minutes. Plate and serve.

Love Fest

I have something like 802 nieces. They are all lovely girls. Diverse, beautiful, talented and spirited - a bevy of bodacious babes. One of my very favorite nieces, Renee, just got married Saturday. Cousin Bubba TORE UP the dance floor.





When Renee and Dave were planning their wedding, I barged right in and “we” (meaning me – the big mouthed, bossy Aunt) came up with the idea of a “dessert table” – rather than one big,(expensive!) wedding cake. And because they were keeping an eye on their budget and because this family includes some great bakers, I "suggested" (insisted) they have a “potluck” table of desserts. Each family member or friend would bring their favorite or best dessert, enough to serve 12-24 (depending on dessert) people. I "offered" (took over) to coordinate this effort – which, at times, was like trying to herd cats. But everyone was enthusiastic and jumped right in, creating some very wonderful and memorable desserts. I made cards to be displayed in front of each dessert, naming the sweet treat and who contributed it. It was a great success – everyone loved the idea and the guests got to sample many different desserts. Renee and Dave also had a small, beautiful “personal” wedding cake and matching cupcakes made by one of their supremely talented friends that were the centerpiece of the table. The dessert table had such a warm, personal, and fun feeling. I’d definitely do this again.






The suggestion I made to family and friends was to try to keep their desserts easy to handle in a buffet line – no pies, messy cakes, etc. Brownies, cupcakes, cookies, bars, fudges, fruits, anything that could be easily picked up and carried away worked best.











Family and friends brought their desserts right to the reception, and we displayed them on the table, which was already decorated with the cards, candles, flowers and platters. So many people commented on how much they loved the idea and that they were going to “steal” the idea! Knock yourselves out – this isn’t rocket science or patented! Just figure out the number of guests, calculate about 2-3 pieces of dessert for each guest, and send out mass email to friends and family laying it out. Have them RSVP what they are bringing, how many it will serve, and then have fun figuring out weddingish names…”Nana’s Perfect Love Pizzelles”, etc.


Here’s a recipe for some very awesome soft gingersnaps with a buttercream frosting that I made…so easy to make and they went fast! I didn’t even get a picture of them at the wedding…but you can imagine pretty much what gingersnaps look like, with a creamy frosting, can’t you??? There IS a picture of some Barbie cupcakes, made just for the tiny flower girls, which, naturally threw them into a tizzy as they tried to pick out their own personal favorite. Flower girl fight!!!




“Going to the Chapel of Love” Frosted Gingersnaps

2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground cloves
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ cup unsalted butter, softened to room temp
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 tablespoon orange juice
¼ cup dark molasses
Sugar to roll the dough balls in (about ½ cup)

1. Sift together (for me that means tossing with a fork!), the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt in a medium sized bowl. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, beat the butter and 1 cup sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg. Stir in the orange juice and molasses. Gradually stir in the flour mixture. Refrigerate dough for about 30 minutes.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
4. Shape dough into slightly larger than a walnut size balls. Place the “rolling” sugar on a plate and roll the dough in the sugar. Place on ungreased (I definitely would use parchment paper) baking sheet, about 2 inches apart. Press down dough balls with the back of spoon, flattening slightly.
5. Bake for 8-10 minutes (slightly browned and cracked). Cool on baking sheets for about 5 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely before frosting. Store in airtight container.

Buttercream Frosting
1 box confectioners’ sugar
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
¼ cup whipping cream
¼ teaspoon cinnamon (optional)

Beat all ingredients together in bowl until light and fluffy.

"All Hyped Up and Nowhere to Go"

I went to Cost Plus a few days ago and bought some Guittard Cappuccino Chips, not really knowing what I’d do with them, but they were on sale, so I got them along with some anchovy-stuffed olives, curry flavored potato chips, and a dust mop. Hey, do I know how to shop or what??? Cost Plus is the most RANDOM store! Lots of great stuff - where else can you buy a coconut monkey and wine glasses at the same time?

Last Thursday night I watched “30 Rock” (Thursday night is MY television night…first there’s “My Name is Earl”, then “30 Rock”, then “Scrubs”, all big favorites of mine), and it was an hilarious episode because “Kenneth the Page” had a cappuccino machine installed at his desk and he began drinking cappuccinos non-stop with predictable results…completely buzzed out, freaky, and well, I was laughing so hard, I had to change the channel briefly so I could catch my breath!

Cappuccino inspiration by Kenneth!!!

These cookies are awesome…not too sweet, very grown-up, and not recommended for coffee dunking…probably safer with milk! You don’t want to end up like Kenneth!


"Cappuccino Chip Cookies with Chocolate Espresso Frosting" –
{Subtitled, "Kenneth the Page Goes Nuts" Cookies}

Makes 36-40 cookies

Cookies:
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened at room temperature
¾ cup dark brown sugar
¾ cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ¼ cup all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 pkg. (12 oz) Guittard Cappuccino Chips

Frosting:
1 ½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
4 teaspoons shortening
3 teaspoons instant espresso powder
About 2 teaspoons hot water

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. In a large mixing bowl, beat together the softened butter, and both sugars. Add eggs, beating well after each egg. Stir in vanilla.
3. In another smaller mixing bowl, place the flour, soda, and salt and stir with fork to incorporate together.
4. Add flour mixture to butter/sugar/egg mixture in 2 or 3 additions, blending well.
Add the cappuccino chips and stir until well blended.
5. Bake in preheated oven until golden brown, about 8 minutes. Remove from oven, let cool slightly on baking sheet, then transfer cookies to rack to cool completely before frosting.

For Frosting:
1. In medium sized microwaveable bowl, place chocolate chips and shortening. Microwave for 10 seconds, stir, then repeat process until mixture is melted and creamy.
2. To a small bowl, add the espresso powder and hot water and stir until it’s a nice thick, syrupy consistency. Add to melted chocolate chips and stir well. Microwave for a few seconds if needed.
3. Using your favorite method (mine is a butter knife), frost the cookies with the warm frosting….it will “set up” in a few minutes.