The Dish: crab cakes

Wow. I think my genetic code is revolting against my secret ambition to be a fabulous cook. Finally, the cans of cream of mushroom soup, jars of Miracle Whip, and corn dogs are rising up in a revolution of remembrance of things past. MKF Fisher, I am sadly…not. I might as well go be a chef for Britney Spears.

While I have in my background some amazing attempts, yea, verily, some astounding successes in culinary creativity…I am, in the end, a Hostess Ding Dong.

Witness my latest descent into backwater swill! The Potato Chip Crab Cake!

Oh, mightily did I resist! Come hither, oh great book of Julia Child! Deliver me from the cultural bane of banality! I call on the benevolence of Bourdain! With frantic fingers searching Epicurious, I search for crab cake epiphany! Smote my childhood memories with the mighty silicone spatula and banish my lazy butt into Sandra Lee purgatory! But I could not resist. I am weak. I have cans of crab. Bags of potato chips.

I am hungry.

And “Everybody Loves Raymond” is on in 10 minutes. (the one where Marie makes a sculpture that looks like it needs underpants).

Purgatory Potato Chip Crab Cakes

Makes 6 absolutely delicious patties of perfect crunchy, salty, remembrance of your Mom

2 ½ cups of potato chips (before crushing) – at least get a GOOD brand, for God’s sake!
1 pound lump crabmeat, drained, picked at to remove bits of shell
½ cup tartar sauce
1 ½ tablespoon Dijon mustard
Freshly ground black pepper to tastes
About 2 tablespoons butter, cut into 6 slices
Lemon wedges, for serving

1. Preheat broiler.
2. Crush the potato chips in a medium sized bowl. Add the crabmeat, tartar sauce, mustard, and black pepper. Mix well. Form into 6 hamburger type patties. Top each with a pat of butter.
3. Place on foil lined baking sheet. Broil until browned. Serve with lemon wedges.

*I did redeem myself very slightly by serving (serving…that’s funny…like this was on actual plates, using actual manners!) with homemade mayonnaise. Really, there’s just no excuse for NOT making your own…even for a hillbilly like me!