"Love, Honor, and WHAT!?!?

The Scene: A dark and rainy day. A man. A woman. Standing in the kitchen. The man is restless, talking, hungry. The woman is listening with her usual good cheer and patience. She is sniffling, hair in a deranged ponytail, and in her robe, because she has been fighting a cold for a couple of days. But she gazes with adoration at the man.

He: “So, when you are going to make that beef stuff again???”

She: (with a light background of harp music and chirping birds) “Why, darling, whatever do you mean?”

He: “You know! That stew that woman, uh, what’s-her-name, makes? Bare Feet Princess? Whatever food show you watch all the time – the really good meat stew! Come on, that stuff is good! I’m really hungry!”

She: (cute little clouds of happiness and rainbows surrounding her angelic face) “Why sweetheart, I think who you mean is, “The Barefoot Contessa” and you probably are remembering the "Beef Bourguignon"! I’ve made that a number of times and you loved it!”

He: “Yeah. Whatever. Make that.”

She: (tiny feathers of angel wings sprouting from her shoulders) “Why, my pumpkin, I would be so honored to prepare that for you! Shall I get you a beer and rub your feet before I begin? And then, while you’re napping on the couch with a bag of Fritos on your stomach, I’ll start a load of laundry and then I’ll run to the supermarket in this pouring rain to get all the ingredients and I will also get you some hunting magazines, 12 Snicker bars, and some Slim Jims – is that ok, my peach popsicle??”

Background noise of flying wooden spoon hitting a soft surface and then....a yowl.

Fade to the man and woman walking into Olive Garden, mid-afternoon. Man is looking a bit....under the weather. He is holding umbrella over the woman’s head and mumbling.
The woman glances up and smiles ever so sweetly. He holds the door open for her. They disappear into the restaurant. (Hallelujah chorus in the background.)

For all you kitchen saints out there, I offer this insanely delicious Beef Bourguignon recipe from Ina Garten. (from the book below) This is such a pleasure to make and serve…it really deserves a…very appreciative audience. If you get my drift.

Ina would never put up with any husband nonsense, I just know it. She’d just go out to dinner with one of her decorator pals.

“Beef Bourguignon – Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa)”

Serves 6

1 tablespoon good olive oil
8 ounces dry cured center cut applewood smoked bacon, diced
2 ½ pounds chuck beef, cut into 1-inch cubes
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 pound carrots, sliced diagonally into 10inch chunks
2 yellow onions, sliced
2 teaspoons chopped garlic (2 cloves)
½ cup Cognac
1 bottle good dry red wine such as Cote du Rhone or Pinot Noir
2 cups beef broth
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
4 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature, divided
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 pound frozen whole onions
1 pound fresh mushrooms, stems discarded, caps thickly sliced.

For serving:
Country bread or Sour Dough bread toasted or grilled and rubbed with garlic clove.
½ cup chopped fresh parsley

Preheat oven to 250 degrees.

Heat the olive oil in a large Dutch oven. Add the bacon and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the bacon is lightly browned. Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon to a large plate.

Dry the beef cubes with paper towels and then sprinkle them with salt and pepper. In batches in single layers, sear the beef in the hot oil for 3 to 5 minutes, turning to brown on all sides. Remove the seared cubes to the plate with the bacon, and continue searing until all the beef is browned. Set aside.

Toss the carrots, and onions, 1 tablespoon of salt and 2 teaspoons of pepper in the fat in the pan, and cook for 10 – 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, just until the onions are lightly browned. Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minutes. Add the Cognac, stand back, and ignite with a match to burn off the alcohol. Put the meat and bacon back into the pot with the juices. Add the bottle of wine plus enough beef broth to almost cover the meat. Add the tomato paste and thyme. Bring to a simmer, cover the pot with a tight fitting lid and place it in the oven for about 1 ¼ hours or until the meat and vegetables are very tender when pierced with a fork.

Combine 2 tablespoons of butter and the flour with a fork, and stir into the stew. Add the frozen onions. Saute the mushrooms in 2 tablespoons of butter for 10 minutes until lightly browned and then add to the stew. Bring the stew to a boil on top of the stove, then lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Season to taste.

To serve, toast the bread in the toaster or oven. Rub each slice on 1 side with a cut clove of garlic. For each serving, spoon the stew over a slice of garlic bread, and sprinkle with parsley.

If I feel better tomorrow,

I'm making this. I may share.

A weird thing happened on my deer hunt in October.

Let me preface this story with some self-defense. I respect anybody’s distaste/dislike for hunting, but am mystified by those who eat slaughterhouse beef shot full of hormones then angrily judge my choice to shoot my own meat when possible.

Anyway, on this hunt I shot a very nice buck, but I’ve never seen one still in velvet that late in the season. Usually deer shed their velvet late summer, before the rut, and by the time hunting season rolls around, their antlers are completely devoid of any velvet. However, this buck was in full velvet, like it was still summer! We had never seen anything like that! At first, I thought “global warming – dang, if Al wasn’t right”! However, when I spoke to the taxidermist and asked if he knew what was going on, he had an interesting answer for me. Essentially, I shot a gay deer. His testicles never really…hmm…got busy, and he wasn’t at all interested in female deer. So his antlers never got the signal to shed, hence to rut and date the ladies.




I’m probably going to hear from GLAAD, aren’t I?

But meat is meat. I am a non-gender-biased cook! I have a freezer full of the best organic venison! Beautiful roasts, steaks, ground meat for all kinds of dishes, spicy jerky…the purest, healthiest protein available. The only thing better (to me) is fresh elk meat, but I didn’t fill my elk tag this year.



“Ol’ What’s His Name” has been hounding me to make a venison stew of some kind, something different than my usual chili. I love a potato soup, so I came up with this soupy stew. It’s definitely one of those stove-top concoctions that is best on a cold winter night, with warm biscuits and then baked apples for dessert. If you don’t have venison, ground beef would work just fine.

“Alternative Life-Style Venison Stew with Potatoes and Crispy Leeks”




6 large red potatoes, unpeeled, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 qt. beef stock (you may want to throw some salt in there, if the stock isn’t salty enough)
4 slices bacon, cut into ½ inch pieces
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 large leeks, washed well, trimmed and thinly sliced (white part only)
1 small box button mushrooms, sliced
1 pound ground venison (or ground beef)
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon rubbed sage
1 teaspoon salt (or more…venison needs salt!)
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 cup whipping cream


1. Place cut potatoes and beef stock into large stock pot. Bring to boil then lower heat slightly and simmer until potatoes are fork tender, about 20 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, while potatoes are cooking, heat a large skillet over medium heat. Add bacon and sauté, stirring often, until bacon is crispy. Remove with slotted spoon to paper towels to drain.
3. Add olive oil to skillet and then add leeks. Sauté, stirring often until leeks are just turning brown and starting to crisp. Stir in the mushrooms and continue sautéing until mushrooms are just brown on edges. Remove leeks/mushrooms to plate, cover with foil to keep warm.
4. Add venison to skillet, crumbling with wooden spoon and sauté until meat is well-browned all over. Add the allspice and sage, stir. Add vegetables back into skillet, along with the crispy bacon, and stir to combine. Cook until potatoes are tender, and then add meat and vegetables to stockpot.
5. Bring soup to simmer, add salt and pepper and correct seasonings if necessary. Add cream and continue to cook until soup is back to simmer.
6. Ladle into bowls and serve immediately.


"Say, honey, gay deer isn't half bad!"